Lately, I’ve been noticing how many different relationships I have with people. Most of these relationships are loving, rewarding, and mutually satisfying. While other relationships can be frustrating, confusing, and even annoying. Why do some relationships work and others don’t? What are the qualities of a healthy relationship? What does it really take to have a loving relationship?
Remember who you are:
When you two met you were independent people with your own hopes, dreams, values, ideas, opinions, interests, and friends. If you try to change who you are, or expect your partner to change, you will end up exhausted, resentful, and angry. Maintain your own identity while continuing to move forward together.
DTR (Define The Relationship):
What does a happy and grounded relationship look like to you? How will you support one another? What do you want and need? The relationship should have its own identity and its own measure of success. Relationships change and evolve everyday and it’s important to check in with each other to make sure you’re both on the same page.
Giving and Receiving:
A healthy relationship has a solid foundation of sharing both the roles of giving and receiving. There will be times when you need love and affection. There will be times when you need to provide support. We can’t take what we need from a partner with force, guilt, or shame. Equally, we can’t expect our partner to read our minds and know what’s going on. We actually have to communicate, share our struggles, and ask for what we need.
Joy and Pain:
Every relationship will experience good and bad times. Unfortunately, we don’t get to have just the joy. That’s not how it works. If we shift our perspective and see pain as a part of the joy, as well as a learning opportunity, we can use the pain to grow and bring even more happiness to our relationship.
Loving your relationships begins with YOU! By maintaining awareness for how you’re feeling, keeping an open heart, and having the courage to face your fears, you will find you are more authentic and ready to do your part to make the relationship work.
Have a beautiful week!