Don't Lose Yourself

personal development, goal setting, fix my life, self confidence, self worth, life coach nyc

For most of us, life is full-on. We have dreams, goals, family, friends, errands, projects, and events… some of which are fun and add to the beauty of life, while others seem to be part of the day-to-day chaos. You may plan out your day with every intention of being happy and productive when out of nowhere you have a friend or co-worker in a crisis, or some other dilemma vying for your attention. It’s at this moment that we have to decide how we can offer support without giving away our power and losing ourselves in the situation.
 
This week I was in the middle of a Happy Warrior business pow-wow when a series of texts popped up on my phone: “I’M SO OVERWHELMED WITH LIFE” “I THINK I’M DYING” “I MIGHT HAVE A HEART ATTACK.” As alarming as this sounds I know this person well, and she tends to have a flair for the dramatic. Coincidentally, I’ve also been working on my tendency to try to fix everything for people because I know it usually leaves me drained and unfulfilled. So, I made a decision to give her and myself a few moments to take a breath. Once I wrapped up what was in front of me, I replied by validating her and acknowledging how hard this year has been, and that I believe in her ability to pull through it. This way, I supported her by letting her know she wasn’t alone, while also empowering her to solve her own problems. At the same time, I was still able to maintain a certain distance from the situation, which enabled me to stay present in my own life and avoid feeling drained.
 
By understanding that life is full-on for all of us, compassion is key, but as Brené Brown says, “Compassion cannot exist without boundaries and accountability.” We all want to help out, but it’s about finding the balance between giving support while not giving away our power. This means that we can still complete our tasks, while also feeling good about supporting the inevitable situation that will pop up. Helping out doesn’t have to mean that you are taking time away from yourself. It means you are choosing to Share Your Happiness without Losing Yourself.

Have a beautiful week!
Jami

Originally published on jamibertini.com